TO (Totally Over) of (technically) the Philadelphia Eagles is a grand talent who received a long term contract in his early 30s of the tune of a shade under $50 Mil. Of course, he was not happy -- sure he was on a quality team with a quality QB that should have some good years left in him, but he just was not appreciated enough -- surely he could have received more money ... balloons didn't fall when he made a milestone catch ... his QB is human and not playing on the level of the head of a now 1-7 team. You know, the guy was a total crybaby.
He tried to repent. Sure did. I was reading today about his act of contrition akin to the time when a king name Henry stood in the snow for three days to get on the good graces of the clergy. Well, not quite the same. This involved a press conference in front of his home in which he (after being suspended for four games and told ala Oscar Madison never to return) apologized to everyone, saying how it was for him to admit that he not only was an ass, but shot himself there in the process (in respect to salary opportunities and so forth ... though the truly desperate might be willing to take a chance ... you know, the Jets [seriously, a local column suggested as much]). TO didn't answer questions, but his agent did, basically saying the guy was treated unfair (hey! he didn't have sex in a bathroom!) while sports reporters had fun answering questions such as "besides getting him kicked off a Super Bowl team, what have you done for the guy?"
It was a hard fifteen minutes -- you know, like the fifteen (heck, two) minutes his now ex-team could have used TO last weekend. Seriously, what drives people to act like this? For instance, I -- and this is not because I'm never going to see such money in my life -- am a bit amazed at how various players are not satisfied about getting a bit less money than they can. A few million dollars is nothing to sneeze at ... unless you already are making it already and have a pretty good situation to boot. But, you have to remember these people are playing a boy's game ... there must be a different mentality there. And, when you are dealing with the truly elite, like TO, you often are also dealing with a different mentality. Some ... and such people are some of my favorite players ... seem to be able to be fairly even keeled about the whole matter. Others, and they sort of annoy me, have a tendency of being sort of assholes. Sad and all, but hey, the Eagles deficit is the Giants gain, right?
Anyway, back to those cheerleaders. As Paul Shafer on the David Letterman Show noted, this sort of thing is basically what is generally deemed to be the definition of "hot." Now, as one article noted, it is not all fine and dandy. For instance, apparently, the Carolina cheerleaders have a junior contingent ... and explaining to your ten year old daughter why there now are two vacancies on the staff is somewhat "embarrassing." "Embarrassing" is also why the two were fired since a clause in their contract notes dismissal is warranted when they do something that embarrasses the squad. As to victims, thus, we also have the two cheerleaders (also arrested) as well as the lady who one of them punched in the face after members of the line outside the ladies' room (bathroom -- not their room) was annoyed they were taking too long.
They were taking too long because ... of a reason that tabloids (including the NY Daily News who had the chance to twice post their pictures, though only one was a good one) must have thanked heaven (or whoever their pray to) for. Ditto your typical male fans of cheerleaders everywhere -- they were making out in a bathroom stall. Or rather, was involved in "sexual activity," which the two articles in my paper for some reason did not spell out. One of the cheerleaders was underage (20), so had to use a fellow cheerleaders' id (whose mom said it was stolen -- sure) ... the other was a brunette. The blonde punched the woman in the face (when one thinks of "girl fight" ... outside of a Michelle Rodriquez movie ... one just does not think of "fist in face," huh?). Too many Long Island Ice Teas?
This sort of thing is more exciting than the lowly Minnesota Vikings romping on a cruise, huh? Besides, the Carolina Panthers are 6-2, so besides their fans basically having a "yeah" moment (while explaining to their wives and girlfriends how unpleasant the whole matter is ... after all, that woman basketball star showed that being a lesbian in the world of sports can be done tastefully), they can move on ... one does wonder what the "training" sessions are like in those cheerleader practice sessions. Or, what the special additional requirements will be when the two slots (joke omitted) are filled ... "I promise to only slap people on lines." Or, "I will only use fake ids, not those of my fellow cheerleaders" or, perhaps, "I am over twenty one and will only make out with fellow cheerleaders in bathrooms in hotel rooms or places with plenty of spare stalls for women who actually want to go in them solo."
Oh, btw, I found out that Al Franken's (you know, the guy who is a qualified comedian) new book has a truly ironic story about Tom DeLay, both sad and infuriating. But, the world of sports is so much more fun, no?