My father was an American success story. A second generation Italian (with a name no one can pronounce or spell properly), he did his part as the family's only boy: serving (stateside) in the navy, getting a good city job while working a second job in the "trades" (he helped build the house I grew up in, though he couldn't set a VCR ... didn't quite "get" the idea of cable either), married, and had some kids whom he provided for quite well.
Oh, maybe the family would have been happier with an Italian daughter-in-law, but one can forgive such transgressions. After all, he supplied a home for his mother in her golden years, providing good opportunities to favor the oldest child and suggest how her daughter-in-law was not properly caring for her little princess. Fair trade.
Sometimes, it is hard for me to see myself in my parents -- after all, they are not political sorts, I got one of them into sports not the other way around, and we have differences of opinions on various matters. Then, I think, and determine the important stuff. For instance, as noted, my dad worked hard to provide for his family ... probably too hard ... and supplied an example of the duty to work hard and provide for yourself and your family.
He along with my mother also had a simple rule, or so it seemed in my case -- if you were a good person, it was enough. Oh my mom might think I'm going to hell for some of what I think, but deep down she seems to think I'm a good person all the same. I was able to build my own opinions and beliefs for drilling such things in you wasn't quite what my parents were all about, even if they wouldn't agree with at least half of what I figured to be the truth.
There is a certain simplicity to that. So, I worked hard in school, didn't cause trouble at home, and returned the favor of those who provided for me. My father also had great integrity, I can't seem him lying or not doing something he said he would do on anything of importance. Again, simple, not drilled into me per se, just something that I saw and copied without thinking. Oh, he was very mechanical ... some of that rubbed on me, so I am able to set a VCR.
He was pretty old fashioned and on that we did not agree, though it never really came up in my case. In hindsight, one sees that the duty that guided his life also left something out. This is unfortunate. You work all your life and I think you should get something more than he was able to get in the end. For one thing, he deserved to have the awareness that his children was thankful for the life he provided all of us, and I don't know if he quite was aware of that. Perhaps he was ... either way, he deserved a happier end. At the end of the day, I guess if I had one thing to say today, it would be ...
Thanks dad.