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This blog is the work of an educated civilian, not of an expert in the fields discussed.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Tough Guys and Drama Queens

I am reading The Drama Years, a book discussing the trials and tribulations of middle school girls, underlining the importance of this sort of book.  The teen years, as most of us know, are a time of change and struggle, both for the teens and sometimes it seems as much for the parents too.  It is a scary time for all involved, if exciting as well.  So, I appreciate a book that provides some perspective on how to deal with them, especially a book that covers all teens, not just boys or girls.

This book is by someone with decades of experience with dealing with teens, in close contact, and is realistic: the philosophy is that the truth of the matter is not enough.  You can be in the right, but if you don't approach and relate to the teens in the right way, you can fail.  This is upsetting to some, since they believe in effect "right is all that matters."  Not true.  Discipline can't be forced merely because you are a parent and the child did something wrong.  The importance of good relations is well known by many people when dealing with their families and the same is true for many (such as educators) who deal with teens as well. 

The book is divided into three sections:
  1.     What's so different about today's culture
  2.     Why traditional parenting no longer works
  3.     A new model for parenting teens.

One thing that received some push-back is the author's suggestion that parents give teens some space to make choices, perhaps wrong ones.  This cannot be done for truly harmful things, such as using drugs or such.  But, take an example of a seventeen year old not wishing to go to church.  By this age, a person needs to decide to go to church on his or her own.  It is not like forcing the person to go to church until they leave home for school is going to be much good in the long haul. Realizing that you have to sometimes trust your child is sound advice.  The "conversation starter" and "how to discuss" conflict appendixes are also helpful. 

The book's overall philosophy is that God gave parents a special role and that they need guidance sometimes to help carry it out. Children aren't the only ones who need help. This attractive volume is a useful addition to parental support resources.

Note: This book was provided free by Book Sneeze in return for a review.  The opinions are purely mine and a positive review was not required for receipt of said book.