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This blog is the work of an educated civilian, not of an expert in the fields discussed.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Ben & Ara

The Westchester County bus system is free in the summer so I was going to take a trip to the White Plains Library. I decided to go to the 42nd Street branch downtown instead. Yes, I do not call it by its new name.

The renovated library is about two years old now. It's a nice place. I didn't check out the snack bar on the top floor yet.  There is a wide selection of DVDs and CDs, including some "great courses" sets.  There are films, television shows (actors, now led by Fran "The Nanny" Drescher, on strike), foreign films, and documentaries.  I took some DVDs out.

I was not sure how Ben & Ara would be in part since the back of the DVD was a bit low-key (if not totally cheap looking).  It concerns an agnostic white Ph.D. student who surprisingly finds a muse in a fellow student who is an African immigrant and a Muslim.  The two photos on the box make her out to be a bit more conservative than she is but yes, curious pair. 

I think the two make a good pair. They are intellectually on par with each other (his girlfriend goes to college and near the end got into a good law school, but she's not a Ph.D. student!). They also seem to click emotionally.  Yes, their religious views don't mesh.  And, we get a stacked deck (he's not only white -- the race thing never comes up -- and an agnostic, in an "open relationship," but has two moms!).  

Still, I think they deep down had potential.  Maybe, the backgrounds and religious beliefs make it impossible.  She would have to basically give up her beliefs and/or mother to really have it work.  I can see things breaking off that way.  But, the film just -- with apologies, tossed in a deus ex machina to force things.  EACH of his girlfriends got pregnant!

His original girlfriend, who he later admits is just someone "comfortable" and not someone he deeply has feelings for (the other guy she has a relationship with does love her and there is a good scene about that), is an overall problematic presence. First, the actress is a bit forced in the role.  Ben & Ara acted in a more free and easy way.

Second, she isn't honest.  They are in an "open" relationship but it really seems like she really only cares about him. This is seen later on when she says he is the only one she has unprotected sex with.  The clear implication is that she wanted to get pregnant and have a continual relationship with him, including when she moves away to go to law school. And, he does ultimately decide to move there at least to be there for the child.

(She also is clearly jealous of Ara and purposely makes it uncomfortable for her when they meet up.)  

Ara has sex with Ben once and she gets pregnant.  I hate this trope. Yes, it happens at times in real life, but in movies, it is a too common plot device.  We are not shown ultimately what happens though it seems fairly clear she decides to have an abortion.  She ultimately is engaged with the person her mom is pushing her to marry (it is assumed that is the one) and even decides to take his name.  Ara all this time is not interested in even going to a family dinner with him and decides to marry him.  

(As I understand it, many Muslims think abortion is acceptable up to the fourth month, but that would not justify premarital sex.)  

Now, this overall is also on Ben. He is in his twenties and already has his master's. He is in an open relationship and now has sex with a devout Muslim who told him she was a virgin. And, he doesn't bring up the idea of birth control?  And, does he just assume his other girlfriend uses it?  He just seems clueless, including when after Ara moves in, he has a party with a bunch of people she doesn't know and it has a lot of drinking.  She doesn't drink. 

His immaturity is shown earlier when he goes out of his way to trivialize her beliefs but not only does he later beg her forgiveness, it probably was a reflection of his fear of commitment.  Still, I find it selfish and self-righteous when people make a big deal about the stupidity of "imaginary men in the sky" or something as if atheists don't have a variety of stupid beliefs.  Likewise, it is a lack of empathy for how people express basic human emotions and ultimate questions in ways they understand.

Anyway, I can understand if the two just come from too different worlds, and Ara particularly was not willing to give up hers for him.  But, the film takes the simple way out with the whole pregnancy thing.  Uh-huh. See! Ara's conservative beliefs are correct since free and easy living results in pregnancy, even when you have sex once!  Not quite.

I think the film papers over the role of Gabrielle (the actress is half-indigenous too) here as I noted above.  But, it is not like Ben comes off that well either.  He comes off as rather selfish with Ara the most level-headed of the three, even if she experimented with a new experience when she fell for Ben with some degree of recklessness.  The actress has had various roles.  Again, she was the best character in the film.  

I'm glad I watched the film.  It was a bit different, including having two people from different worlds meet up because they were in the same Ph.D. program.  It is overall well made and acted though again a key role comes off as forced and/or underwritten.  The couple talking, including a smart black devout Muslim woman speaking her mind was great to see.  

Still, I did not like where it eventually wound up.  I felt cheated there.  It isn't even that both of them eventually wound up going their separate ways back into their general separate worlds.  The film used a lazy device to get them there.  

Also, the Ben half of the group was a bit too immature to carry being in the title.  He benefited from her being his muse -- he shaped up and presented his Ph.D. after an extended delay.  What did she get?  She did get her Ph.D. but it sure seems like she settled.  Her mom told her that she had a fling in college but found someone who was worthwhile.  Which is fine too.  

We don't see Ara actually appreciating her ultimate fiancĂ©.  We just get a time skip and Ben & Ara are apart and went their separate ways.  It feels like a big cheat on her part.  Life can work that way. This is a movie. It's a choice.  The movie had some good stuff but seems incomplete.  

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ETA: I noted in passing that actors have gone on strike. Writers already were on strike, shown by the lack of late night television for quite some time now.  

A major concern is the use of artificial intelligence to replace actors.  There is an interesting piece on the importance of "background actors" and how their image can be exploited cheaply.  

I respect supporting actors in films -- small roles often make a movie worth watching or give it that extra something. The same can be said about this film. Background actors sound like glorified extras. But, they too can have value.  And, it is a fun way to watch those sitcoms and other things you watched many times. What are the background actors doing?

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